bugger ( please explain )
+++
dusk
a man and his drugs
+++
minus th bit
i just smoked
+++
jeez that guy on th corner
looks like my cousin's kid
+++
boppin along in th land rover
as a passenger
listenin to th news
i know
****er was still runnin
a miracle
behold th running land rover
new south wales
has chosen nicole kidman
to put forward for
australian of the year
said somethin about nicole bein
umm
ambassader
for a charity organisation
i was ravin amabasseder
i know
i'll spell it right one time
i'm a wizard
who gives a **** ?
last night
in this here diary
anyway
they reckon she's odds on
warm favourite
<<< smile >>>
+++
some unkind bastard
standin on a roof
in th first day of summer's
stinkin ****in heat
had a whinge
it should only be open
to ppl who live in australia
he's an australian
so am i
we dont vote it
we just get told
not sure where i stand on that one
doesn;t she sell our country ?
saw th usual
s****ts ppl put up for th gong
im just happy it aint a footballer ok
go hard nicole
+++
i got a bit cheeky at lunchtime but
went about
33 degrees or so
maybe a bit more
was ****in hot
and we were on a black roof
with th owners sittin inside in th air conditioning
and listening to th sounds
of their children
and all their mates
looked like a school break up
party had gone on th night before
playin in th pool
lady of th house did say i could have a swim
i reckoned i could get three backspins in
before i hit th water
she did smile but
anyway
we were on th roof
and im standin behind kenny
and i go
righto nicole
get on your knees now
th other guy had just given me a serve
i had my bum on th tiles
pckin up shards
from th pointing
that id washed earlier in th day
no ****rt and
oblivious to th heat
well nearly
th afro was wet from under th tap
and he reckoned i was a black fella maybe
yeah i dunno mate
anyway
kenny laughed his head off
we were gettin a bit silly in th heat
and i filled a twenty litre drumfull of little chips
and i was about done in
i just couldnt picture nicole
on her knees
on that black roof
which is a good thing right ?
it's alright nicole
i woulda thrown ya in th pool afterwards
funnier than carpet burn anyway
put a smile on our faces
we needed it
+++
mate
i could ****in live in that ****in air conditioner
i got permission
to trek thru th house
to sweep up my mess from th balcony
man
both air conditioners goin
door wide open to th balcony
it's a different way of livin
i spose it;s good for me to see
occasionally
but
no offer of a cold drink
and
invisible
out there on th balcony
with a view of th whole city
+++
we were sittin outside this
fish and chip shop
it's what it says
eatin s ome iceblocks
th roof painters
talkin to th housepainters
they're inside at th moment
tryin to work in houses that have got air conditioning
we spotted two vans
air conditioning companies
in th drive from th mansion to th shop
and we'd been talkin about em
bad for ya
when ya gotta work
steppin outta th air conditioning
into th blast furnace
that is th australian sun
we had a cold drink
and an ice block
and listened to this guy askin us if we wear safety harnesses
no man we're not pussies
and out came th horror stories
+++
this morning
th big fella was goin down
th last
ridge on this roof
we were only pointin it
so only wa****n
th ridges
woulda been there five hours otherwsie
lady of th house thought she got a free roof wash
with a repointing
man
we'd preferr to do it all
th big fella
last hip
third row of tiles from th bottom
im at th ridge
ive got a good footing
both feet into th cap
and leanin back on th chimney
cause
SLIP
hmm
i was well prepared for that one
two hands on th hose
saw it coming
well prepared
and he didnt pull onth hose
went down three tiles
and did a fair
michael jackson impression of
moonwalking
to stay on th roof
and not drop th
twenty or so feet we were up
once he safely stopped moving
i.e.
standing on somethin that;s washed
then i laughed
ya funny prick
i dont know what th **** you were doin out there
ya have a good time ?
+++
ya gotta laugh
+++
this arv we were on a tinny
puttin primer on it
three man crew
we get around
i was in rubber thongs
not real high
low sets are killers but
ya get complacent
had a little slippy slide
i dunno man
i ride a unicycle
this is pretty ****in
well id say
easy
but th big fella's been off twice
just havent had my turn yet
make it low set
with haybales next to th house will ya ?
i make thousands of smiles on my unicycle
i deserve to be here
+++
ya listened to me one other time
+++
we been watchin th chick
at kfc
gettin fatter and fatter
and growin zits by th million
well not specifically me
i see better talent
why you pointin her out to me man ?
i have chicks dirty dance to th drum im playin
on a saturday night
and they look way better than she does
anythin for him to stop pointin out women
+++
i said to this guy this arv
we were talkin women and how many divorces
you know
told him id lived with seven different women
be more if i counted th times
we got back together
he said i musta been a ***** litle bugger
i guess so
+++
said he only got laid once a year
so now she lives down th road
i dont blame ya man
+++
much easier day today
yesterday was a white roof
glare
get a good tan
i dont wear a ****rt
or put on sunscreen
two days
fryin in th summer
i just got burnt
not even dark red
<<< smile >>>
yeah maybe man
hotter today
a stinkin hot black roof
a fixit job
somethin went wrong
was mid mornin
and i was drinkin a litre and a half of water
glad you are today
why oh why
paint your roof black
in th sub tropics
on a south sea island
**** man
fa****on ?
+++
does fa****on have to be stupid ?
+++
i want somethin
doesnt weigh too much
but what takes th heat from my head
and
radiates it
like a car radiator
attached to your skull
it's too fukin hot up there
i need hair conditioning
+++
more drugs over here
man's only just got home
from havin t pay his board
+++
th list of things that guy's had done
under
the black economy
cash man
+++
i got th net mate
i got free ****
keep your dvd's
but thanks
+++
he was a good fella
out with th orange juice no less
man you are a first
+++
usually
just th real old buggers
wont let ya leave
till you;ve had a cold beer at th end of th day
must be ****in hot up there
+++
every year
we see less
+++
i picked it
i said to kenny
we wont get offered a drink there
wont get offered anything
+++
while i was on it
i was thinkin on
sylvester stallone
and that article i read
where he was spewin
that he was payin for his workers
on his property's water drinks
and they had to bring their own bottled water
jeez you;re a generous man
i thought you were a millionaire
behavin like you got twenty thousand dollars in th bank
+++
th richest pricks ya meet
screw ya down to th last cent
and give ya nuthin
but then
i worked for this one guy
he was in like
th beefsteak and burgundy club
and lions
and ****
would skite to me
i worked for him
have ta listen
about th size of th steaks they ate
and how much wine they consumed
and one time
he even told me that
he was more im****tant than me
cause he had more money than me
then he came to me
at about age sixty
whingin that he had diabetes
and that he might lose his legs
i nearly laughed in his face
but i didnt
said th right things
jeez that;s really bad man
litle while later
when i wasn;t workin for him
"read,later that day"
**** i laughed...
+++
he said to me one day
you know
you got two out of three
you got lifestyle
th ppl who come to you wantin piccies and stuff
and ya got your health
th only thing ya dont have
is money
i told him it was cause i worked for him
for all those years
but
at 42
i've still got a sixpack
and get asked t strip for one and all
at 42
you had a beergut
and you;d grab a carton of biscuits
and tell everyone it was yours
not share any
and eat th lot in a week
you sure that you;re smarter than me ?
+++
still feelin th effects of that tummy bug
yesterday wasnt much chop
settled down today
had a huge feed
round nine thirty last night
eleven hour day
didnt agree wth tummy bug too welll
big headache till about then
brain fried
fifty degree heat
but my tan gets nice
all over bronze
at least down to th waterline
so i cant complain
+++
IBD
stands for
i bull**** daily
i like it man
+++
told kenny i was buyin ya a ball gag for xmas
**** we had some laughs today
+++
look at this ****wit
+++
they were in th aftermath of a party
and i was pickin up chips
concrete chips
i woulda cracked it
but
they seemed like
well
boy's school boys
private school we call it
and i didnt exist
+++
went and made a cooffee
you didnt see me go did ya ?
+++
ah **** off ya ****in toffee noses
came driftin up th stairs
just as i was about to go down them
+++
so you;ve got a
mercedes and a bmw
im happy for you
+++
hav to go search ralph
before it gets dark
i lost this massive bud in th car
when i was out singin
on th weekend
come here my litle bewdy
come let daddy smoke you
+++
my posting's gettin erratic
+++
what music am i listening to man ?
none
oh
red hot chilli peppers
windows picks my music
+++
doesnt knwow what it's called though
computers arent that ****in smart
+++
how bout
like a java applet
ya download
when ya run it
it anylizes
th track
and compiles an id number
then ya can just upload th id number
and check it against th
online database
what's this song man ?
what's it ****in called ?
who ****in sings it ?
and who did it first ?
millions of songs
and millions more posssible
a big number
but
it's generated from th sounds
yeah that would be
do - able
+++
sometimes
when you;re pirating
you dont quite know
what you;'ve captured
but ya like it all th same
+++
nirvana
"about a girl"
+++
me for a bath
later
..
..
..
paulie
+++
p.s.
placebo
"where is my mind"
you;re reading it...
